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‘GETTING MORE’ by STUART DIAMOND

I have just started a book, ‘Getting More’, and it has really grabbed my attention.  So much so that I wanted to do a very quick pre-review (I think I just made that up) to share what I thought was really great advice in the first few minutes of the book (I say ‘first few minutes’ rather than ‘first few pages’ because I bought the audio version from Audible to listen on a long bus journey).

Diamond is a Wharton Professor and a Pulitzer Prize winning former journalist for the New York Times – so you expect he’ll be able to write!

I’ll get it finished over the next week or two and do a complete review then – but meantime I thought this extract was worth sharing.

Very early in the book Diamond outlines 12 principles that make his approach to negotiation more effective in the real world (and this is a man who persuaded 3,000 people in the jungles of Bolivia to stop growing illicit coca and to start growing bananas exported to Argentina).

He warns that they may seem deceptively simple – but when I read them they just resonated with me as useful for more than just negotiations. In the original each of these points has a full paragraph explaining the points – I hope my 1-2 line summarizing doesn’t hurt the meaning.  Here goes:

  1. Goals Are Paramount. …In a negotiation, you should not pursue relationships, interests, win-win, or anything else just because you think it’s an effective tool. Anything you do in a negotiation should explicitly bring you closer to your goals for that particular negotiation…
  2. It’s About Them. …You can’t persuade people of anything unless you know the pictures in their heads: their perceptions, sensibilities, needs, how they make commitments, whether they are trustworthy…
  3. Make Emotional Payments. …You need to tap into the other person’s emotional psyche with empathy, apologies if necessary, by valuing them or offering them other things that get them to think more clearly…
  4. Every Situation Is Different. …Blanket rules on how to negotiate with the Japanese or Muslims, or that state you should never make the first offer, are simply wrong…
  5. Incremental Is Best. …Take small steps, whether you are trying for raises or treaties. Lead people from the pictures in their heads to your goals, from the familiar to the unfamiliar, a step at a time…
  6. Trade Things You Value Unequally. …Then trade off items that one party values but the other party doesn’t…
  7. Find Their Standards. …Name their bad behavior when they are not consistent with their policies…
  8. Be Transparent and Constructive, Not Manipulative.
  9. Always Communicate, State the Obvious, Frame the Vision. …Most failed negotiations are caused by bad communication, or none at all. Don’t walk away from a negotiation unless all parties agree to take a break—or unless you want to end the negotiation…
  10. Find the Real Problem and Make It an Opportunity. …Few people find or fix the real, underlying problem in negotiations. Ask, “What is really preventing me from meeting my goals?”…
  11. Embrace Differences. …Great negotiators love differences….
  12. Prepare—Make a List and Practice with It. …If you don’t have a list, you aren’t prepared. If you aren’t prepared, you won’t do as well…

Pretty good, huh?

I have extended an invitation to the Diamond to do a 5-10 minute Skype interview – I think he’d make a great guest.  I’ll let you know how that goes.

Meantime, his book is available on Amazon at a reduced cost of $15 for the hardback and on Audible in audio form for $35.  For some strange reason it seems only to be available to UK Amazon readers on Kindle – at £9.99 (?).

Have you read ‘Getting More’?

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