Are you guilty of ‘celebrating’ your failures more than your successes? Too many of us are – and it holds us back from achieving what we are truly capable of.
With most people successes are all too frequently taken for granted – discarded almost as soon as they are achieved. “Sure, I did win that, but what about…”. Failures, on the other hand, tend to get much more focused attention, post mortem analysis and attention. Don’t get me wrong – it is important to look at failures to see what went wrong, what lessons can be learned from them, and what we can do to avoid the same failures in the future.
The problem is that all too often we dwell morbidly upon the detail of our failures, working them through our minds over and over again, beating ourselves up for allowing them to happen – instead of looking at what we can learn from them to avoid a recurrence.
Earl Nightingale said that “you become what you think about most”. By continually priming your mind with details of your failures you program your ‘Reticular Activating System’ (RAS) to seek out opportunities for more of the same – more opportunties to fall on your face. Too much time focused upon your failures rather than your successes has the opposite effect to that you desire– programming your brain to seek out more opportunity for failure.
Just about every day you achieve something positive, however small. The trick is to identify that success and celebrate it. It’s not enough to take these small steps forward, you must congratulate yourself on your progress and prime yourself for more of the same.
Make a point of celebrating your victories:
- As you work through your day take a few minutes to celebrate any victory, any goal achieved, however small. Reward yourself for your all of your victories – you deserve it. Depending on how significant the victories are the rewards you give yourself should vary – it could be as little as a guilty treat with your coffee , or a plan to take a weekend away with a loved one. In the moment mark the success by punching the air, taking a slightly longer coffee break or giving a loved one a call to share your delight. However you do it be sure to mark each of your victories.
- At the end of your day, as you make your way home and have a few minutes to think, take a few minutes to look at what you’ve achieved during the day. Think: how did I manage to achieve these forward steps? What does that tell me about how I can move other goals forward? What personal qualities do these achievements identify in me? Congratulate yourself on the qualities and attributes that are helping you make these breakthroughs, however small.
- Reward those around you for helping you to achieve these victories – not only will this enhance their self-esteem and get them focused upon making every day a day of victories, but this act alone will reinforce your own sense of the value of what you’ve achieved.
Life is altogether too short not to celebrate all of the sweeter moments – however small. Give yourself a break. Celebrate!
How do you celebrate? Please share your ideas in ‘Comments’ below
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